Fifteen Terrifying Sounds You Should Strive to Never Hear

Halloween is a time of rattling chains and things that go bump in the night. But nowhere will you hear creepier noises than in that “House of Horrors” known as the law office. Following are 15 scary sounds sure to send a chill up your spine:

From a client: This case is a slam dunk.
From your paralegal: Hey, look what I found behind your desk.
From a prospective client: How about I pay you twenty dollars now and the rest after we go to court?
From a client: You got the year wrong. My accident was in September 2009, not 2010.
From a Judge: One more word and I am holding you in contempt.
From your office runner: Bummer, I got stuck in traffic and didn’t get to the Courthouse before it closed.
From a client: This is not about money.
From your secretary: I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is I finally found the file that’s been missing for six months. The bad news is the limitation period expired five months ago.
From a prospective client: Sure I’ve had three prior lawyers. But, unlike you, they were all idiots.
From your legal assistant: You mean it had to be notarized?
From a client: Could you please give me the name and telephone number of your insurer?
From your new associate: What does dismissal with prejudice mean?
From a client: I’ve already done all the legal research on the internet. All you have to do is give it to the Judge.
From a client: I am here to pick up my file.
From a Judge: That won’t be necessary Counsellor. I’ve heard enough.
(Lianswers, November 2012)